What To Do At A Gay Wedding: Ideas And Traditions

To give you an idea on what to do at a gay wedding, you can consider a symbolic unity ceremony. Gay weddings present an opportunity for same-sex and LGBT couples to celebrate their love and marriage, so they’re free to modify some traditions accordingly. 

We will also discuss the typical flow and traditions seen in gay weddings to help you plan the order of events. And for the wedding bands, you can refer to what finger does a gay wedding ring go on

what to do at a gay wedding


Best Ideas On What To Do At A Gay Wedding

You can make a gay wedding or any other same-sex wedding as symbolic as you want, especially after accomplishing all the marriage legalities. After all, same-sex couples have the right to marry in all 50 states in the US. 

How can you make a gay wedding sentimental and memorable? There are different unity ceremonies that you can incorporate into your marriage ceremony. 

For example, you can do the handfasting while you exchange vows or switch the wedding ring exchange with a sand or candle ceremony. Unity ceremonies symbolize the union of two people; you can always modify the elements to make them more personal.


Gay Wedding Traditions

Take the following examples to know further what to do at a gay wedding: 


  • Gay wedding proposal

The most common question regarding same-sex weddings is who should propose? There is no right or wrong answer to this, and the gay couple can have either partner proposing. 

Sometimes, both parties even propose at the same time. And, of course, the couple has the choice to follow a typical proposal where one person kneels or not. 


  • Who pays at gay weddings?

Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for most of the wedding expenses. But in gay and same-sex weddings, couples don’t have to adhere to traditional guidelines. 

LGBT and same-sex couples usually discuss how to manage wedding expenses. Their families can contribute an equal amount, or the couple themselves will pay for the wedding. 


Processional idea for LGBT couples

A gay wedding can choose to follow the traditional wedding processional or not. But usually, the couple walks down the aisle together instead of having someone go down the altar first. 

Alternatively, the couple can choose to skip the traditional wedding processional. They can stand at the altar together and start the ceremony. 


Same-sex wedding ideas for the wedding attire and rings

Gay weddings are usually a way to show the couple’s personalities without needing to adhere to any standard or tradition. The couple doesn’t have to wear classic tuxedos or only have white as their wedding color. 

It can be a colorful affair, and even their rings can showcase their uniqueness. They can even choose to omit to exchange rings if they prefer another symbolic ritual to represent their commitment to each other. 


Wedding party at a gay wedding

Gays can modify their wedding party rather than conform to gender-specific norms. For example, the bridal party can have men instead of bridesmaids, or there can be the best woman instead of the best man. 

Overall, the wedding party at same-sex weddings is composed of people supportive of the couple. You don’t need to fill the party with traditional genders.


Name changes after a gay marriage

It’s up to modern couples and those who partake in a same-sex marriage to decide about the name change after the wedding. The couple or even one person can choose to hyphenate, include both names, or only take their partner’s name. 

They can keep traditions or select an option that feels right. And if you’re curious if there’s a type of ceremony that is not as restrictive, you can read what is a secular wedding


How Do You Perform A Gay Wedding?

Same-sex marriage is federally legal in all 50 states in the US, so performing a ceremony for LGBT couples can be similar to a traditional wedding of a heterosexual couple. But of course, you must check your state’s marriage laws and requirements to ensure that your union will be legal and valid. 

First, do you know who can perform a same-sex marriage? Since not all religious institutions agree with the conditions of same-sex marriage, most gay couples opt for a civil wedding. 

You can also have a supportive friend or relative ordained to perform your same-sex wedding. For example, the American Marriage Ministries allow their ministers to perform a same-sex marriage. 


Who Walks Down The Aisle In A Gay Wedding?

There are no specific rules regarding how a processional at a gay wedding goes. For example, the bride does not have to be escorted by her father, or the same-sex couple can walk hand in hand during their procession. 

Some gay weddings even ditch having an aisle, and instead have a ceremony circle where the guests surround the couple. But of course, you can always talk with your partner to share your expectations for your wedding, especially if you want to honor someone by having them walk down the aisle. 


What Do You Bring To A Gay Wedding?

Guests don’t usually bring their gifts to a gay wedding. Instead, the gift is brought or sent before the wedding as it’s more convenient, especially at destination weddings. 



And that’s it! We just learned what to do at a gay wedding, which can be as traditional or modern as the couple wants. 

They can include a unity ceremony or omit traditional elements like the processional. Same-sex marriage is legal in the US, so what’s left is to read about your state’s requirements and marriage laws to prepare for the wedding. 

Leave a Comment