It can be tricky to identify who pays for daughter’s wedding when parents are divorced, so communication is crucial between the two. After all, it’s tradition for the bride’s family to host the wedding, and they’ll be paying for most of the wedding expenses.
We will also talk about the etiquette of divorced parents when they attend their daughter’s wedding. And for those who need some financial help, read how to ask parents for money for a wedding.
Who Pays For Daughter’s Wedding When Parents Are Divorced
Divorced parents paying etiquette
In general, divorced parents should tactfully navigate their daughter’s wedding expenses. This means avoiding any petty misunderstandings and fights.
Never bring up unrelated issues when discussing the wedding expenses, and don’t make it a competition between you. The key is maintaining open communication to ensure that nobody feels unheard of or that they’ll unfairly pay more than the other.
If you think you’re more capable of shouldering finances, you can volunteer and shoulder more wedding costs without making your ex-spouse feel inferior. If possible, include your daughter when planning the wedding budget so she can also share her insights.
Split wedding costs
If the bride’s divorced parents are civil, but they would prefer not to interact with each other for extended periods, then the best solution to pay for their daughter’s wedding is to split the costs equally. First, determine the expected budget for the wedding and provide half of it each to your daughter.
This way, she’ll manage the money herself, and you don’t have to work with your spouse. While some divorced couples are on good terms, they might prefer not to work with their ex-partners.
And if you can provide extra, then why not give it as a wedding gift to your daughter. Just remember that paying for most of the wedding expenses won’t give you the right to control everything in the event.
How Do Divorced Parents Deal With Weddings?
At the wedding ceremony
The first consideration of divorced parents when attending their child’s wedding is the seating at the ceremony. This is especially tricky when the separated parents have a partner of their own or if they have remarried.
Assuming that the divorced parents are on good terms, you can have the bride’s mother in the first row and the bride’s father in the second pew since he’ll walk his daughter down the aisle anyway. Refer to who sits where at a wedding ceremony for a more in-depth guide.
And speaking of which, who will walk the bride down the aisle? Again, she gets to choose if it’ll be her dad or stepdad or ask both parents to escort her down the aisle.
At the wedding reception
You can consider providing two honorary tables each for your divorced parents, especially if they have a partner or family. Just make sure to give a good space between them to avoid any awkward moments of tension.
Then, be mindful of the toasts, especially when talking about marriage. If you know that a parent discusses uncomfortable matters, do not include them in the speeches.
You can also prepare for the photoshoots by talking with your photographer, especially about families’ unique situations. And finally, you can have the bridal dance with your dad and stepdad if you feel like honoring them.
Wedding Etiquette For Divorced Parents Of The Bride
It doesn’t have to be complicated and stressful to plan a wedding if your parents are divorced. You can consider the tips below to prepare them while planning the wedding:
- Sit down with your parents and plan a meetup with each of them; you can meet them separately or have dinner with the two of them, depending on their current relationship with each other
- Let each parent know your wedding plans, starting with the pre-wedding celebrations, seating arrangements, processional, and after-wedding events, to name a few; this way, they can let you know in case they don’t want to attend an event, prefer to sit someplace else, or select the person they’ll walk down the aisle with
- For complicated separations such as one person being involved in infidelity, clarify to them not to bring the other person to avoid tension in the wedding; if either parent has remarried and the new partner doesn’t have a good relationship with your other partner, make sure they don’t need to interact with each other
- Calmly voice your reasonings to ensure that either parent won’t feel like you’re favoring another
- As the parent of the bride, remember that it’s her special day, and don’t make it about you by forcing your wants or letting your emotions get the best of you
Do Parents Of The Bride Give A Wedding Gift?
The parents of the bride decide if they want to give a separate wedding gift or not. Usually, it’s not expected since they’ll host and pay for the wedding anyway.
And that’s it! We just learned who pays for daughter’s wedding when parents are divorced, which requires basic decency, tact, and open communication.
The best way to navigate this is to ask your daughter about the wedding budget. Then, contribute half of the amount, so that both parents will provide equal costs.