What Is Cold Feet Wedding And How To Handle It

If you’re unsure about what is cold feet wedding, it refers to the feeling of uncertainty before the big day. It can be scary to feel, but you’ll understand it better once you catch the signs and know the reason behind it. 

Weddings can understandably get overwhelming for anybody. But feeling wedding jitters should not immediately mean that you shouldn’t proceed with the wedding. 

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What Is Cold Feet Wedding: Reasons And How To Deal With It


What are wedding cold feet?

Wedding cold feet refer to the uncertainty that the bride or groom may suddenly feel before the wedding. The doubt and discomfort can even make anyone question if they should proceed with the wedding. 

However, it’s possible that you may just be feeling overwhelmed or nervous as the reality of the wedding gets closer and gets into full view. Here are the signs of cold feet to understand and know how to handle them:


Signs of cold feet 

  • You feel irritated with your partner more often; even if you have a relatively good way of handling conflicts in the relationship before, the pressure of the wedding planning and preparation can cause you to pick a fight with each other
  • You’re nitpicking everything; cold feet can cause people to find their significant other annoying even in little things 
  • You no longer feel as attracted to your partner; the stress and tiredness you’ll get from everything you must do before the wedding can affect your sex drive
  • You’re assuming that marriage is “the end”; marriage is a big milestone that comes with new changes as you share your life with your partner, but this doesn’t mean that your dreams and potential have come to an end
  • You might be thinking “the grass is greener”; as the wedding day gets closer, you suddenly have a feeling that commitment is too much, and you may even notice that you’re getting attracted to other people


How to deal with wedding cold feet?

  • Consult a reliable friend or relative regarding your worries about the wedding and marriage; it’s crucial to find someone trustworthy and objective for a fair observation of the situation 
  • Do not act on impulses and think carefully before doing or saying anything to your partner 
  • Talk with other newlyweds or couples who have been married for a long time to feel validated that it’s normal to feel cold feet 
  • Make sure you’re eating, exercising, and sleeping well
  • Have a day to relax by yourself
  • Consider meditation and breathing techniques
  • Write in a journal to assess your thoughts 
  • Talk with your partner without sounding hostile 
  • Go to a therapist 
  • Take a step back and consider having a simpler wedding or moving it to another date; if the wedding planning is overwhelming you


Should you call off the wedding?

Couples having pre-wedding jitters or second thoughts about whether they want to get married may feel tempted to call off the wedding. After all, should you proceed with commitment if you’re feeling unsure?

A helpful trick to knowing what to do when you get cold feet is to ask yourself about your feelings. This is recommended by the wedding therapist Landis Bejar for couples who are getting nervous about their major life transition.

Perhaps you only feel this way at this moment, but never at any other times throughout the relationship. This will help you know if your wedding concerns are enough to not go through with the wedding or if it’s only a heightened emotion that makes things bigger and worse than they really are. 

But ultimately, please have healthy and open communication with your partner. While it can be helpful to get insight from another source, you and your partner know each other best, and chances are, they’re as nervous as you. 


Why Do People Get Cold Feet At Wedding?


Stress, exhaustion

People get cold feet before the wedding because of different factors. The stress and demands can exhaust and overwhelm you during wedding planning.


Fear, conflicting moods

Furthermore, marriage is a significant life change, so it’s normal to feel doubtful, lose confidence, and even second-guess if you must proceed with it. But, on the other hand, you’re also spending time with your partner, so you’re together even if the moods are not good. 

This leads to feeling irritated with their presence. However, remember that it’s natural to fear and question whether you must proceed with the wedding or not. 


The solution

But as wedding therapists and other counseling services recommend, you must talk it out with your partner in a calm and open-minded manner. Reconsider if your fears have a good foundation or if they were just formed from the heightened emotions and exhaustion. 

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Did you learn a lot? To recap what is cold feet wedding, it refers to the feeling of uncertainty that the groom or bride might have as the wedding gets closer.

It’s normal to feel anxious as one does when approaching a significant life change. However, do not do things impulsively and remember the importance of the relationship with your partner to you. 

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