For brides and grooms who thought my wedding wasn’t what I wanted, continue reading below on how to cope with the feeling of disappointment. You will also know why it’s normal to feel that you didn’t get the wedding you want and how to navigate that realization.
And for couples who felt doubts about the marriage or simply thought that they shouldn’t go through with the wedding for now, please read how to cancel a wedding. Sometimes, timing is the only reason you don’t feel confident about your wedding.
How To Cope If My Wedding Wasn’t What I Wanted
Perfectionism
If you caught yourself thinking that your wedding wasn’t what you wanted or reflecting on your wedding day reveals that you’re disappointed, know that you can move past these negative feelings. One of the most stressful factors regarding weddings is that they should be perfect.
High expectations
You might have also set expectations on your wedding day long ago. Perhaps you were satisfied with the wedding until you see another one and compare how great it was versus yours.
There are many reasons anyone would feel that their wedding wasn’t at par with their expectations. However, keep these things in mind, so you get to start your marriage with a positive outlook and avoid transferring your disappointment to the relationship itself.
- Accept the negative feelings that come with realizing that the wedding wasn’t what you wanted
- Do not suppress your emotions or try to ignore it
- Allow yourself to feel bad but watch yourself to avoid transferring the emotions to your spouse
- Talk to your partner regarding your wedding day disappointment and approach the issue as teammates instead of rivals
- Consider listing the good things that happened on your wedding day but do not focus on how many they were in comparison to the shortcomings you’ve experienced
- Know that you can always create a new memory with your vow renewal or anniversary celebration
Is It Normal To Feel Disappointed After Your Wedding?
You are not alone
To avoid worsening the thoughts and emotions, establish in your mind that feeling disappointed on your wedding day is more normal than you think. You’ll have an easier time navigating the emotions by realizing that you’re not alone in these feelings, and it’s not the universe conspiring to give you the worst wedding day.
It’s easy, and it’s also valid to take things personally. However, letting resentment and blame fill your thoughts will only exhaust you and prevent you from seeing some of the good things that happened at your wedding.
The universe is not giving you a forewarning about the marriage
A terrible wedding experience is not an omen for a bad marriage. Understand that some things are out of your control, no matter how much you prepare for them.
There are many wedding superstitions, but they are only as valid as the intensity of their meaning for you. The wedding is not the marriage itself, and thinking that it can only get better from this can help you feel less anxious.
Other people experienced a disappointing wedding too
This is why it’s also helpful to talk with your partner regarding being disappointed with how the wedding day went. If you also have trusted friends and relatives, they might even share their own disappointments with their weddings.
Who knows? Maybe your parents or in-laws had a terrible wedding day, but they turned out to be the best married couple you know.
How Do I Get Over My Wedding Disappointment?
Please feel validated with your wedding disappointment and realize that the world did not go out of its way to ensure that you’ll feel bad on your wedding day. From these two main reasons to reframe your mind and emotions, the next step to cope and move on if your wedding wasn’t what you want involves the following techniques:
- Set a day or time to allow yourself to feel the regrets and negative emotions; if you are also guilty about your participation in some of the wedding day issues, do not be afraid to express and cry about it
- Discuss your wedding disappointments and regrets with your spouse without undermining their own disappointments; it’s also better not to point fingers and approach the issues from an objective perspective
- Try to make sense of why the things turned out the way they did; consider writing everything you feel and then analyze them as if you’re consoling a friend
- Find the good things in the wrong things or laugh about them; know that you still have valuable takeaways from the bad experiences, and now you’re working with the knowledge from them
Unfortunately, some marriages don’t work, or the wedding itself is considered invalid. If you feel like your reason for separation is grounds for annulment, how long after a wedding can you get an annulment.
Conclusion
And that’s it! If you are thinking my wedding wasn’t what I wanted, please know that it’s a normal feeling and that you can get past it.
Remember that the universe did not go out of its way to show you an omen for a potentially lousy marriage. So it’s also a great time to discuss emotions with your spouse and enter marriage with a clean slate.
Overall, open communication on both ends is crucial to coping and moving on from wedding disappointments.