How To Tell Someone They’re Not Invited To Your Wedding

Are you dancing around the issue of how to tell someone they’re not invited to your wedding? There are three things to remember to ensure that you’re being polite. 

We’ll also provide specific examples to help you tell someone that they’re not invited, or you can’t invite them to the wedding. And if you’re not only worried about telling someone they’re not invited to your wedding, but you want an intimate one, you may want to read how to say no plus ones on the wedding invitations

how to tell someone they're not invited to your wedding

How To Tell Someone They’re Not Invited To Your Wedding: The Stress-Free Way!


Never assume that someone wants to be invited 

Before anything else, do not assume that someone wants to be invited to your wedding in the first place. This means that unless you know the person and they have said they’re waiting for the invite, you don’t go and tell them they’re not invited to your wedding. 

It wouldn’t be tasteful to assume that social media comments or a random coworker congratulating you on the engagement means that the person is saying they’ll go to the wedding. It’s also unnecessary to have someone deliver the bad news to people who may not even plan to attend the wedding. 

However, you may need to be blunt and straightforward if there are people who ask outright. If you received the response cards and some included plus-ones despite you not allowing extra guests, read the example wordings below this post. 


Send the word out regarding your intimate wedding

The second etiquette tip when thinking about how to tell someone they’re not invited to your wedding is to make sure that no false information is sent out. Instead, have your closest relatives and friends tell people about your decision to have an intimate celebration. 

This way, distant relatives and acquaintances are more likely to understand that they’re not invited. This is also a chance to know if some people are anticipating an invitation. 

For example, your mom might be planning on inviting a distant aunt, or your best friend will bring someone you don’t know. They will see that you’re limiting your guest list by being blunt but polite. 


Be detailed with the information in your invitations

The final consideration for couples who want some people to know that they are not invited is to clarify their desire for a limited guest list on their invitation. This means that you will say you won’t have plus-ones.

It would be best if you also addressed your wedding invites to the people who are invited from the household. Some family units have extended families in their homes, so address your wedding invitation to the person or couple you’re asking to your wedding. 

It’s also acceptable to express your desire to have a child-free wedding. To avoid miscommunications, indicate this on your invitation as well. 


How Do You Nicely Tell Someone They Are Not Invited?

Feel free to modify these example wordings:


Due to budget limitations

We are sorry to say that we won’t be able to invite you. This is heartbreaking for us, but we can only have a small guest list due to our budget limits. 

Due to our budget limitations, we have to decide to cut down our guest list. We are devastated that we can’t have you with us at our wedding. However, we look forward to celebrating with more of our friends and family sometimes. 


Having an intimate wedding

We are unfortunate to make the difficult choice of keeping our wedding intimate. Know that you’re someone who we wished to be also there with us, but please understand that it’s nothing personal. 

We are keeping our wedding small; unfortunately, we can only invite very few guests to celebrate with us. So we can’t ask as many as we’d like. So we’re sorry that we can’t extend an invitation to you and your loved ones. 

Are you having a hard time deciding how to cut your guest size? Here’s how to downsize the wedding guest list


Restricted by the venue

Hello [name]! Our wedding is coming up, and we’re having a hard time knowing that we need to tell people they can’t come to our wedding due to venue restrictions. The number of guests we can invite is limited, and we hope you understand that it’s nothing personal. 

Our wedding venue has a limited number of people they can allow. Thus, [partner’s name] and I must cut down our guest list. We’re sorry to say this, but let’s make plans to meet up after the events!


Is It Rude Not To Invite Someone To Your Wedding?

People vary in how they perceive a message. Understandably, people assuming their closeness with you can get hurt if they are not invited to your wedding. 

However, it’s better to be clear beforehand than having them prepare for an event and then learn that you’re not inviting them. Send your message politely, like budget, venue, and wedding size restrictions. 

And if you can commit, make plans with the person instead to meet after the wedding. 



Was this etiquette guide helpful? You just learned how to tell someone they’re not invited to your wedding by never assuming, getting your point across, and being blunt at the invite. 

Feel free to modify our wording examples to tell someone they can’t come to the wedding politely. 

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