How To Ask Someone To Be In Your Wedding: 3 Ideas

Consider three ways on how to ask someone to be at your wedding. We will talk about what to say when you meet friends and family that you’d want to attend your wedding in more detail below. 

For additional helpful information in this matter, browse our guides about wedding invitations. You will learn everything from whose name goes first on the wedding invitation and more. 

how to ask someone to be in your wedding


Creative Ways On How To Ask Someone To Be In Your Wedding


  • Meet up

The most straightforward way to ask someone to be at your wedding is to meet up. It will be more intimate, and both parties can ask any potential question about the event. 

This will also help avoid miscommunications if a friend or family you’re inviting can’t attend the wedding. If you’re only communicating virtually via chat or text, it can be easy to misinterpret some words. 

So how do you meet up with the intent of inviting them to your wedding? Depending on how intimate or extensive the wedding is, you can meet people one on one or as a group. 

Perhaps you can throw a wine night with your close friends to announce your wedding, followed by the toast. However, afternoon tea or a coffee date might be more practical for family members who are not alcohol fans. 

Schedule your meetups strategically to talk with everyone according to your available times. You can even do an engagement party at home and invite everybody there, so the announcement and invitation will be done once if you have a busy schedule. 


  • Send a card

Sometimes, it’s hard to schedule meetups because of work or location. If it’s impossible to see each other in person, you can always send a card to the people you want to be at your wedding. 

However, this approach will skip any additional discussions because it’s assumed that they will go. So it might surprise some people in your life if you randomly send them invitation cards without a meetup or party about the engagement. 

However, this approach has nothing wrong, especially if your friends and family have expected you and your partner to get married. Just make sure to read about the wedding invitation etiquette, especially the host line, request line, and RSVP cards that will come with the invitations. 


  • Give a gift

The engaged couple can send gifts to the people they’d want at their wedding. However, note that these gifts are not the same as the wedding favors given at the wedding reception to thank your guests for coming. 

You can also include the gift with the invitation, so your friends and family can feel more special if you want them to be involved in this occasion. Consider a gift box with sweets, a small bottle of wine, or even your favorite teas, for example. 

Read what to put in small jars for wedding favors to get more ideas on what to give your guests. They can even be wedding-related items like sheet masks or brooches that they can use on your wedding day. 


What Is It Called When You Ask Someone To Be In Your Wedding?

There is no specific term to call the task of asking someone to be at your wedding. But in a way, you can think of it as the wedding party proposal since you are selecting the special people in your life to celebrate this milestone with your significant other. 

You also want to make sure that you’re not accidentally overlooking some friends and family members when you’re inviting people to your wedding. Understandably, not everyone will be part of your wedding party, so be mindful to avoid making anyone feel bad. 

This is why if you want someone to be at your wedding, meet up personally with just the two of you. This will prevent having someone feel isolated in a group setting where select people are only invited. 

Furthermore, remember to be clear with the position you want for that person to be at your wedding. Will they be a bridesmaid, groomsman, maid of honor, best man, usher, for example?


What Do You Say When Asking Someone To Be Your Bridesmaid?

You can be straightforward and say, “can you be my bridesmaid?” to your girlfriend. Of course, it’s always better to be creative with your bridesmaid proposal, but there’s no need to overthink what you must say to these special women in your life. 

Plan the number of bridesmaids you want in your wedding to avoid any issues with your bridesmaid proposal. You also want to list these women to see if you didn’t forget anyone. 

It would help to also discuss with your spouse as most weddings have the same number of bridesmaids as the groomsmen. Both the bride and groom might even have representatives from their sides in these two groups of the wedding party. 

Here is how many bridesmaids are there at a wedding to know more. 



And that’s it! We discussed how to ask someone to be in your wedding, where you can meet them in person, send out cards, or even gifts to make them feel more special.

The key is being direct about your intention, especially if you want that person to play a role in the program. We hope this article sparked some ideas; leave us a question if you have any. 

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